Living with regret can tear you down when you’re not looking.
You might say things like: I could have done this differently and everything would be fine...If I only would have acted that way, I’d be happy now...If I would have handled that situation better, then we would still be together.
These thoughts haunt us all in one form or another in our lifetime. Living with regret is not an unusual thing. However, regret is just a story we tell ourselves.
You have to train your brain to let go of your past self. Your past self acted that way for a reason. It may have been a mistake, in the end, but you didn’t know that then. Or even if you did...you learned something anyways. Re-write your narrative where you’re the hero, not the victim.
Sometimes you have to allow one of your past selves to die. You have to let go of who you once were. You did what you could in that situation and you learned how to make better decisions in the future.
For me, it was letting go of how I acted in a past relationship. As him and I grew apart, I felt pushed away. Instead of holding on to my self-worth, I clung to him. I lost myself. Then, after it was all over, I was so angry with myself for the way I acted. I was angry at myself for letting him treat me poorly. I was angry for the way I treated myself. I kept thinking, “if I would have acted differently, would things have ended better or not ended at all?” I was living in regret.
The truth is that everything I went through was supposed to happen. I acted as best as I could, in the moment. I didn’t know any better. Now I do, though, and can use what I learned in future relationships. I can let that past self die; the one who was in that relationship and the one who was mean to myself for the way I had acted. She isn’t here anymore. There’s a newer, wiser, stronger version of myself now and she is far more adept at holding onto her self worth.
Don’t let your past selves haunt you. You have a life to live ✨