Have you ever blamed someone else for your bad mood?
It was all your partner’s fault, right? It was because of your parents and how they raised you, right? It was your boss’s fault for yelling at you, right?
Take a moment to think of when the last time you did this was. Remember how it felt to blame them. You were unknowingly victimizing yourself. In order to be happy, you have to take FULL responsibility for your relationships (and the rest of your life, for that matter). You can’t control what happens to you. You can control how you react.
Are you angry with your partner for something? It’s likely YOUR anger getting in the way; not their action. You have a responsibility to be honest, calm, and communicative with them about their actions. If they truly can’t understand, you have control of changing your expectations or making the choice to go to therapy or ending the relationship altogether. Relationships aren't always 50/50. They aren't 80/20, either. They should be, in your head, 100/0. You have to be willing to put 100% in...which includes taking full responsibility of your human experience.
Did your boss say something to piss you off? It’s in their job description to tell you what to do. It’s okay to feel hurt or pissed. You can’t blame them, though. You’re the one who messed up. Take responsibility for your actions, or at the least, your emotions. You can even just think to yourself “This is my bad mood. This is no one else’s fault.” Is your kid going through a phase that you can’t seem to understand? There are countless books on how to manage children and proper psychological development. Read up.
If you want to be happy, in relationships and in life—YOU have to take full responsibility.